Tuesday, May 13, 2008 8:06 PM
Too timid
quarallel with mum again, she saw my hp msges.
& was very fedup with the msg A sent to me.
She got so angry, that she questioned me like i was a criminal
& i really went mad at that time
i was crying all the way. My head was spinning so hard.
I told mum, Just go away, i beg you
i'm really very painful, just let me cry, cry to death
I really feel like dying, but i've got no courage
I'm too timid to die
i hate myself, why am i born so timid
if i was more daring, i would really hope to die
idk why i can be so happy in school?
Am i acting, or that's actually not the real me
Maybe me myself dont even know what's the real me
But i'm really sick & very tired
I'm really very tired, feel like closing my eyes
& never wake up again.
Even if i'm at home, i can't cry. i must act strong & happy in front of them
But i'm sick of acting, where's the real me?
where can i find a nice corner to die or cry peacefully?
i really feel like crying hard, but there seems to be no tears
i'm really in agony, i don't even have the freedom to cry.
Friends? Do they really understand me?
