Sunday, September 27, 2009 11:07 PM
All of me for all of you
The most dreaded moment is soon to be arriving
Uh, I'm not quite prepared yet
But i think, i had more confidence in attempting/understanding questions.
Seriously, N levels are totally different from our usual prelims
Perhaps not much of the exams standard,
However! We will only receive a certificate, stating our grades in it.
The marks won't be changed, can't be change, and never will it.
This is how it's going to be
And this is how much i dread facing the reality.
Yet i had to..
Or rather all of us had to
I only know,
I no longer wish to have regrets.
Brother have been preaching at me about my studies.
I'm thankful for that
Bec i can't practise self-control
Without him using his ways of motivating me to study,
I suppose, i might be still lazing around.
Sometimes, i felt inferior.
Inferior to those who don't study during exam,
But results could be better than mine
While, i studied whole day long
This time round, I'm not gonna let history repeat
Life can be unfair at times,
and those are the times
when you must maintain faith
and never let go
Life isn't always easy,
but if you keep going and persevere,
to the best of your ability,
you will gain strength to manage
the challenges ahead.
'Each goal that you reach
is another important step forward'
Therefore, I'll maintain faith and triumph over circumstances with hope and courage
Celeste shall try:)
On a side note, I'll be working after Ns, although i said i won't.
But, mum doesn't want me to stay home all day long.
Goodnight,
Living In Twlight
Tuesday, September 22, 2009 10:21 PM
Keep your gaze upon the sky
So, the second part of N levels is round the corner
Night study is here, two weeks to dooms day.
I've start on my preparation.
Compromising myself to the daily tasks given by brother
I'm practising self-disipline
And, so far so good, I hope
Time doesn't await for us
The world doesn't revolve around us
No matter how down we are, or how lively we are
It won't make a difference to the world
But we could just play a part, in fulfilling oneself
Through much of a life experiences, human beings grows up
I'm glad, i no longer live in the past
Bec it's for future that human beings should look forward.
Such that those times were bad, there's nothing for me to reminisce
Hmm, as mentioned at Hweehwa's blog
Both of us went down for Friday training
I seriously miss those times
When it's back to redcross, it's about saving people again;)
One of the cadet nearly fainted.
But later, she was brought to the clinic
I played a part in monitoring her.
Ah, it was my last time job aye
The previous day, i also treated a sec one boy
Sometimes, looking back at those old times, i laugh
Laugh at how silly i was, to fear of treating people
How i once stone for half of the day, after witnessing a fractured arm incident
How i cried it, How i appealed for other post
Now, i'm no longer fear of it, i'm liking it, i'm missing it
It's pretty much of a self-achievement, pretty much of excitement.
Goodnight,
watching life pass from the sidelines
Monday, September 14, 2009 9:47 PM
till the fear in me subside
Sometimes reality hit us hard,
and the honest stays too much,
i have to close my eyes and hide
Suddenly so many thoughts occured me
making up for all the days i did not blog.
It totally hits me that,
It's really useless getting jealous over one another results
I was foolish in doing that
"Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies. "
Elizabeth E. Bowen
I will stand strong, for i can't fall. (:
the honest stays too much
As it get nearer and nearer
I fear, fear of stepping my life into a future that i can never shine at there,
I fear, fear that once i am into there, my relationship with my mother is bound to worsen,
I fear, fear that people will look down on me,
I fear, fear that i can't make it up to Sec 5
I fear, fear that i will not survive in that world
I fear, fear that i might do silly things in the end
I know, once i'm into it, my life will change
I know, it would be ten times worser than my secondary school life i know
I fear, fear of facing this cruel fact
I fear, fear of facing up to reality
I fear, fear of facing up to the criteria
I fear, fear of living my life if i were to get into there
Within the heart of everyone
I'm left with no choice
Mum have already told me what life would be for me IF i get in there
Everyday, i have been foolishly, hoping that the news will report that:
The criteria for N is changed, it has been reduced
But what's the use of imagining something that will never happen
I've been giving myself and others too many excuses
Left with not even a month, can i create a miracle?
I'm thankful for those who came to coach me, motivate me, had high hopes on me
Now i know,although it will be me who's gonna face the music if i flunk N,
But it also affects everyone in my surrounding
;my classmates,peers,glorious,seniors,teachers,parents,brother,cousin,tutor
How disappointed would they be in me, how i have let them down
Seriosuly, talk is cheap i know, actions speakes louder than words, i know.
I am not giving up, i am not going to resign my fate, I am not going to have any regrets
Words of Advice From Dad,
You can choose to pay now, and play later
Or you can choose to play now and pay later
He asked me what's my choice
And i choose to pay now, and play later, and have no regrets
I will prove it
Motivate myself, work hard, persevere!
Goodnight,
The world's too complicated
